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Iโm privileged to virtually walk alongside homeschool mamas just like you. So I know why a homeschool mama will benefit from coaching for homeschool (& life).
I am privileged to be invited into your homeschool, and be told about why you homeschool, who you homeschool, the challenges in your homeschool, and why youโre not sure you want to continue homeschooling or at least, why youโre finding it challenging.
You know that Iโve been there done that, that Iโve homeschooled four kids, our oldest is 21, our second, is 19, our third, is 16, and itโs only our youngest, 13, who is still homeschooling.
So why would a homeschool mama need coaching for homeschool (& life)?
Youโve heard me share my story that somewhere in January of our third year of homeschooling I was done with homeschoolingโฆ
Or to be precise, I had enough of kid conflict, forcing kids to sit down, be quiet, stay motivated, focus on their studies, stop arguing, leave the scissors in the same place I left them, not speak out of turn, not speak disrespectfullyโฆand a whole bunch of other stuff that pushed me to my brink of overwhelm.
But Iโve had more than one moment of questioning my homeschool choice.
Iโve had more than one moment of homeschool overwhelm and even life overwhelm. Iโve had moments of exasperation with a child or two or three, even seasons of exasperationโฆand worry.
And because Iโm not from one of those strong family stories where I felt secure and was taught that who I was mattered or even that my feelings mattered, or that anyone even noticed I was there at times, well, Iโve been reparenting myself too, growing myself up right alongside my kids.
Oh, and if it didnโt seem obvious already, I have plenty of stories where Iโve had to reorder relationships because I had to learn to instill boundaries in pretty much every relationship in my life at some point.
(Boundaries werenโt taught or instilled in my family of origin and I didnโt even explore them until I was 34, years after I began parenting.)
And when sometimes you hear me talk about homeschool mamas needing to find their identity, that experience was mine too. I remember attending my first writing conference and by the end of that weekend, I was in love and in awe: I found the love of my life, writing.
But I was always in love with her.
Iโd always known her. Remember that I began writing when I was seven, in a little green-locked journal purchased from Zellers. But I didnโt spend enough time acknowledging her. So I didnโt develop her.
That weekend conference got me clear that I was not just a mom: I was a writer.
But how could I write? Iโd surely have to ditch the other three loves of my life.
(And though I say that for your amusement, I was genuinely distraught that Iโd made a mistake: I had a family when I first should have taken up writing. Turns out, the two are not mutually exclusive, but Iโve had to bring that element of my identity into regular practice, despite my rather consuming homeschool mom identity.)
And as you can imagine, coming into marriage and parenting, with rather colourful growing-up years, I wanted to capture a charmed life.
(Did I subconsciously name my website? Oh yes, I did).
- Iโve learned to overcome my fear of anger, in others and in myself.
- Iโve had to overcome my insatiable desire to have others like me or support me;
- Iโve learned to be authentic despite my vulnerability.
- Iโve had to overcome the deep inertia of what I call The Great Sadness, a dark storm of all the painful hard stories that remain trapped despite many years post-trauma.
Iโve lived Rachel Plattenโs song:
โLike a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosionAnd all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in meโ
Iโve had to practice self-compassion again and again.
And tell me the beautiful truth, as I tell you when we chat virtually, you were created, therefore you are worthy, you are valuable, and you are here for a purpose and a reason.
And now I see that despite the seemingly overwhelming challenges, Sara MacLauchlan’s song, Blackbird, has been mine & I believe can be yours too:
Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You may have broken wings, but you can learn to fly, and you can arise, and sing despite the most unusual circumstances, like singing in the dead of night.
You can learn that you are free.
So, as you can see, from the initial conversations I have with you during our virtual coaching sessions, you and I begin to uncover some reasons youโre struggling. And those reasons are almost never the original reasons we begin chatting.
- Probably itโs not just about the frustrations you have with your kids. About bickering and arguing or because theyโre complaining about you asking them to do something.
- Probably itโs not about uncertainty about your homeschool choice, or a lack of confidence in your homeschool choice.
- Probably itโs not because you have too many things to do or that you feel compelled to do everything everyone on Instagram or at your local co-op is doing.
- Probably itโs not because the community around you isnโt supportive or that maybe you donโt even have a homeschool community.
- Probably itโs not about you not feeling like youโre not doing homeschool good enough.
- Probably itโs not because your partner isnโt in support of your homeschool choice.
- Probably itโs not because youโre having a hard time transitioning to the homeschool life instead of your previous profession.
- Probably itโs not even that youโre struggling in your marriage right in front of your homeschool kids.
- Probably itโs not because youโre kinda bored of homeschooling even though youโve been doing it for a few years now, maybe even a similar curriculum, your days are the same, the kids kept coming, you kept homeschooling, and now what?
- Probably itโs not because youโre losing your stuff on the kids, even though, how could it not be this one?
Iโve learned that itโs often thisโฆ
- At the base, you need time awayโฆ
- So that you can see and understand whatโs actually going on.
- You need to become more aware of your needs.
- You need to understand the things that trigger you.
- You need to understand how to instill boundaries.
- You might need to render some big hurts.
- Perhaps you need time to become clear on what your base issues are with your partner, your kids, or your other significant relationships.
- You need to know how to address those issues proactively and not wait for a magical, non-existent utopia to take over your home. (Not that I know what Iโm talking about here).
- You need to be clear about what you think an education is anyway, and why youโre even putting all this effort toward your kidsโ home education.
- You need to be clear so you can address the repeated questions and uncertainties from the important people in your lives that arenโt your homeschool cheerleaders, but truly love you and your kids and want the best for them.
And I’ve learned that it’s also this…
- You need to be clear on what you need, how youโre making time and space to address what you need, your mental stimulation, your sense of quietness and separateness, and your life outside homeschooling (cause one day sooner than you think, it will happen, you will have a life outside homeschooling).
- You also need to be clear on what you expect from each of your kids and how you expect things to flow (or not flow as that is also likely the case) when a child doesnโt show up the way you expect them to: you need to release yourself from reactivity and respond with purposeful intention.
- You need to be clear on how youโre addressing your big emotions as you homeschool, like anger or frustration, balance, failure, not being good enough, perfectionism, and also stress, or when really big things happen in your homeschool, like moving, separations, deaths, and other loss.
- Iโve learned that we need time and space to explore what we need, to explore how we can be proactive in our relationships better, develop our separate sense of self and encourage purposeful activities in our lives, the life that we will live after weโve graduated our youngest child.
Iโd be privileged to walk alongside you if you want to connect with me in the virtual Homeschool Mama Retreat or one-on-one coaching.
In this guided retreat, you can get away & take a breather.
You can dig deep into the things that are keeping you from enjoying your homeschool charms.
…So you can show up on purpose in your homeschool days.
If you want toโฆ
- Reimagine how you show up in your homeschool life
- Renovate your self-nurturing strategies
- Recognize your emotional landscape
- Reassess your homeschool vision
- Release your unHelpful homeschool mindset
Then join me in a virtual Homeschool Mama Retreatโฆ
A Self-Directed Homeschool Mama Retreat: Refresh & Renew
Introducing the Homeschool Mama Retreat: an oasis for overwhelmed homeschool moms longing for clarity, confidence, and rejuvenation. Designed for those seeking to break free from doubt, perfectionism, and monotony, this retreat offers a transformative experience to refresh, renew, and reimagine your homeschool mom life.
Join me on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we:
๐ฟ Release Your (Unhelpful) Homeschool Mindsets: Overcome doubts, redefine your purpose, and gain confidence as a homeschooler.
๐ฟ Renew Your Homeschool (& Life) Vision: Craft a vision that aligns with your values and aspirations, breathing new life into your homeschooling journey.
๐ฟ Recognize (& Plan For) Your Big Emotions: Tackle common challenges like overwhelm and perfectionism with practical strategies and support.
๐ฟ Reimagine How You Want to Show Up in Your Homeschool (& Life): Rediscover yourself beyond your homeschool identity and prioritize your well-being.
๐ฟ Renovate Your Self-Care Strategies: Develop nurturing routines, prioritize your health, and cultivate mindfulness for a balanced life.
๐ฟ Celebrate Your Ordinary Miracles: Embrace your journey with gratitude and find inspiration in the everyday moments of motherhood.
Join the ranks of empowered homeschool moms who have found solace, support, and renewed purpose in our retreat:
“An oasis for overwhelmed moms…a transformative experience!” – Cheryl, Homeschool Mama of 4
“Refreshed, renewed, and ready to tackle homeschooling with confidence!” – Carla, Unschool Mama of 1
“Rediscover the joy and purpose in your homeschool journey!” – Britt, Homeschool Mama of 3
Ready to reclaim your joy, purpose, and sanity in your homeschool mom life? Begin your retreat journey today.
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Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventure
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/